I Made the Wrong Choice!

I Made the Wrong Choice

by Vern Schellenger, CEO Contacts Count

7/15/24

One of key concepts at Contacts Count is what we refer to as “choice points”. Every day we have a number of conversations.  Some of those conversations are short and transactional.  Some of those conversations lend themselves to making a choice.  

That choice being:

1.Taking some time to proactively engage with the other person to learn more about them and what they do.

OR

2. Choosing not to engage.

 When we choose to engage we shoud be thinking about what can I learn about the other person during this conversation? 

We should be thinking – is there an opportunity to teach the other person something about who I am and what I do?

When you use the appropriate skills and approach conversations with a mindset that is all about teaching and giving the result is often an engaging conversation.  A conversation that may lead to a 2^nd and 3^rdconversation with the other person.  This is how trust-based mutually benefical relationships are developed over time.

And then there are those times when we choose not to engage. 

• Your pressed for time. 
• You don’t have a very positive opinion about the other person.
• Your fear of failure prevents you from beginning the conversation.

The first two reasons we choose not to engage are legitimate.  If you are holding back due to  fear of failure it’s in your best interest to figure out what is holding you back.

Early in my career the fear of failure often held me back.  Senior leaders provided feedback that I should contribute more to the meetings and discussions.  They told me that when I did offer a suggestion or raise a question I was making a real contribution.  One of them suggested I read a book that I believe was titled “Ask for What You Want”.  I was reading the book on a flight from Chicago to Boston when I realized I was sitting next to the author.  What an opportunity to make a choice to enage with the author and learn from her.

 I made the wrong choice!  I sat there thinking all of these negative thoughts – I don’t want to bother her, how do I introduce myself,  how should I begin the conversation.  I missed a golden opportunity to introduce myself, learn more about the author, get in the moment feedback from an expert, and who knows what other possible positive outcomes.

 Don’t let the negative demons inside your head hold you back from reaching out and engaging with others.  As human beings we are wired to connect.  And the more we connect with others the more we learn and the more opportunities come our way.  The more we connect with others the greater likelihood we are able to help or give back to them in some way.

About the Author

Vern Schellenger, President and CEO of Contact Count.

Contacts Count is the premier coaching and training organization dedicated to helping you use the power of human connection to transform your career, business, and life.

Vern is dedicated to empowering professionals and entrepreneurs with the strategies, skills and tools to master networking (even if they are introverted and don’t like networking events). His vast experience includes such roles as HR VP and CLO at Dunkin Donuts, VP & Director of Professional Services at Lee Hecht Harrison, and SR VP of Human Resources at American Bankers Association.